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Nov
16
2011

Random Rambling #5

Long time no see! *cleans the place*

I… … … I think there’s something wrong with me XP I can’t seem to do anything I promised myself to do. I’m still as lazy as I was or maybe more considering I’ve been unemployed for almost a year now :( You know how excited I was when I graduated? I even applied for a job before getting my papers! My GPA is 4.49/5 of course I’m gonna be excited~ How naïve of me to think I’d get a job right away. I wish I had stayed in the university one more semester T_T Well, can’t do anything about it now.

Putting that aside, I’m not doing much on my e-shop. I returned half the capital to Mom (which is a good thing) but the pace hasn’t changed; I’m still selling very slowly. I guess I’m not patient enough, specially with a small capital. Oh, and one issue that some people consider unimportant is standing in my way: driving! Yes I need to drive the car to the shipping company and give them the customers parcels. One of my brothers (call him brother 1) is married and wouldn’t help me even if I ask him and the other one (brother 2) is studying in a different REGION. I’m totally fine, you know, I’m supposed to feel like a queen right now~ yay –.-

My family doesn’t like me talking about it but I’m gonna do it anyway: We don’t have money! My late father’s pension, which the government issues every month, has been cut off. Why you ask? Because my married brother (1) apparently doesn’t give a damn about us. My guardian! He thinks that going to the court and renewing his guardianship or whatever they call it is bothersome for him! My, you think I enjoy having you as my guardian?! Not to mention that he did something to me last month and I can’t bring myself to forgive him Of course there’s nothing we can do about it. Yes, we might run out of food and eventually die. Guardianship!

Now most of you will see the pics of my parcels on Twitter and wonder “if your family doesn’t have money, how come you’re buying all these stuff?”

Well, those are from a month ago (before Eid) and some I bought but haven’t shipped until now and some are like, only available at certain times so I have to get them now. It’s not like I’m living beyond my standard lifestyle; it’s just that Mom doesn’t want us to be bothered by the pension halt. I’m actually trying to save some money. Also, I’m using the shop’s money! There! I said it, judge me XD

I thought about writing a book. Me writing a book? I can’t even maintain my blogs. You know what my problem is? I think too much and come up with many things to do but I never seem to get anything done. Yup, that’s my problem and I acknowledge it but I can’t find a solution. I remember one tweep told me to write everything on paper and arrange them by priority. I tried to but couldn’t get what’s on my mind on paper. I guess this comes with being a…

I complain too much but good things happen every once in a while. I just don’t talk to many people about what’s on my mind (except brother 2, I guess) I hope I didn’t cause depression to any of you XP Brother 2 thinks I AM on the verge of depression and I need to consult a doctor or something. Maybe he’s right… I don’t know~ Can you blame me?

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